When Wendy Nutbrown was reaching the end of her journey with cancer it became increasingly clear that she would not be well enough to attend her son James’ wedding.
But when we heard about her disappointment, we decided we had to do something special and create a unique memory for both Wendy and her family.
That’s how Wendy had the chance to see James and partner Amy exchange their vows in a special ceremony at Wendy’s St Luke's bedside.
“Wendy loved it – her face was just a picture as the ceremony started,” says husband Andrew Throssell.
“As far as James and Amy were concerned, the exchange of vows in front of Wendy was the most important thing and it couldn’t have happened without the support of St Luke's chaplain Lynn Pockock and the whole St Luke’s team.
“There was no fuss, no sense that they couldn’t do it – it was all there for us and it made a very special day.”
Wendy had been receiving NHS treatment for peritoneal cancer when she was moved to our In Patient Centre in the final weeks of her life after initially being supported by the St Luke’s Community Team at home.
“Being cared for by St Luke’s made a massive difference because up to that point it was all about dealing principally with the disease and Wendy’s voice did not always seem to be heard,” Andrew says.
“Wendy initially said she’d like to go to St Luke’s for just a couple of days to sort out her pain medication and then go home.
“Within four or five days, though, as they were dealing with her pain and other symptoms, it was fairly clear that I could not have provided the same level of wrap around support at home.”
Andrew adds that it wasn’t just the outstanding level of medical support that made Wendy’s final days so special.
“When she first arrived at St Luke’s she was still well enough to go out and sit on the patio outside her room or sit with the door open so she could look at the trees and the garden and the bird feeders, all those things that gave the feeling of being in a good quality hotel,” he explains.
“Even more important, there wasn’t any member of staff who came in who didn’t acknowledge Wendy by name, talk to her, ask her how she was feeling.”
When friends came to visit, they also found that the St Luke’s welcome embraced them too.
“Wendy used to sing in the Sheffield Council Choir and a group of her friends came and sang for about an hour in her room, which again was something very special and which wouldn’t have happened anywhere else,” Andrew says.
Looking back now, he acknowledges that St Luke’s was the place Wendy needed to be as she reached the end of her life.
“Of course she would have preferred to be at home at the end but I remember that last night when her breathing stopped and I held her hand, which was the second hardest thing I have done in my life – the hardest was letting go.
“But Wendy knew that I was there with her and it was a quiet and pain-free end to her life.
“I spent about 20 minutes with her after she died and then there was no big fuss – just quietly and lovingly they came in and did what needed to be done and it was clear that there was love and concern for her.
“Throughout the whole of our time at St Luke’s Wendy was looked after and cared for as Wendy and not as somebody who was being treated.
“St Luke’s shows how health should be in all cases because it is about treating the whole person and that’s the one thing that shines through at the hospice.
“Everything is about the person, the nurturing of their physical needs, their mental needs and the needs of their families and the people they love.”